dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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