So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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