Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
