I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
