what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
