WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
