If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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