i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
