i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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