You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
