with your own penis?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck