if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.