I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I would ride that face into the sunset