spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?