I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
