if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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