youre lurking in front of me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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