Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
