i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
