Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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