508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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