I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
