it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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