Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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