oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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