Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
