Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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