Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
