Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
