The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
