There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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