I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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