I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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