I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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