Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
