Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
