I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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