Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
