We're like a lot better than the average bears
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
