ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
