He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just gift wrapped bread.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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