Is it normal to miss your booty call?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
