I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize