70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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