worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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