Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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