I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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