I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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