You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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