The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
