you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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