I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
