Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
