3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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