Having a random hookup so left but love u
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
