hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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