Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
