The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
