are you still at the devil's house?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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