Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
